“She was brisk as a chipmunk to the last.” – T.T., The Member of the Wedding, Carson McCullers
I spent a good bit of my evening looking into yellow-lit windows at people gathering together around tables. I walked back and forth along Horatio and Jane in the West Village, where I found several groups of people tucked inside brick buildings, working on things together. I don’t know what they were creating or discussing or if they were actually doing either, but I wanted to be there with them.
I want to be a part of a team creating something new, adding something to our existence, and I am very much a creationless loner right now. I am trying to teach myself to code–to learn what I need to know to create these projects I keep dreaming up. And, most days I’m excited. Energetic. Brisk.
But, waiting is hard. Even when the power to end the waiting resides within your own hands.
Joe Kraus, Excite Cofounder, said, “The hardest part in a startup is that you wake up one morning, and you feel great about the day, and you think, ‘We’re kicking ass.’ And then you wake up the next morning, and you think ‘We’re dead.’ And literally nothing’s changed.”
Tonight’s an “I’m dead” kind of night. Tonight, all my efforts are futile. And, I guess that’s okay. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be kicking ass again. I know the answer is to muddle through. To create as much as I can now. But, I don’t feel brisk to the last. Or even the beginning.
Streets Walked: Clarkson St. to Greenwich St. to Horatio St. to West Side Highway to Jane St. to Greenwich Ave. to 8th Ave. to 53rd St. to 11th Ave. to 52nd St. to West Side Highway to 54th St. to Madison Ave. to 118th St. to Home
Sights Seen: Brisk graffiti